So tonight I went to my first "Ft. Richardson Spouses Club" event. It was a wine tasting and fur show. The furs were gorgeous but way out of my price range and I didn't have but one small taste of fruity merlot because I am nursing and was more interested in the food, lol. While I had a good time I felt out of place. I mean the good thing about the spouses club is it is for all spouses although it really seems like it is mainly upper enlisted and officer wives, which I am pretty used to by now. I didn't know anyone and almost wanted to leave before it ever began but I saw a woman look my way and took my chance. She had a nose ring too. LOL Her name was Debi and she was really nice and talked to me all evening. I still felt like an imposter though. I joined this club to get myself involved in volunteer work again and mingle with people like myself. I want to start doing the things I used to do before I found myself an Army spouse again. The thing is, now that I am a new mom, I feel like a naive child. I feel like I know nothing and am fresh out of high school all over again only with less confidence. Something has happened to the confident person in me. Ever since we moved here and I was ostracized in my husband's last unit because I was friends with someone people didn't like I just feel like people don't like me. Even with my own friends I feel like I have something to prove or have to step back and let them take control. I don't like this feeling, it is not my nature and I just don't know what happened to me. I am way too emotional and take things personally when I shouldn't. I also feel like when I talk to people about things that they think I am trying to compete with them when in reality I am just trying to relate. How did making friends and just being yourself get harder to do when you get older, I thought it was supposed to be easier. It doesn't help that I look like I am in my 20's still either, people treat me like a kid. Granted I am glad I still look younger, I just don't like being treated as if I am unexperienced and naive. Maybe that is why I feel that way a lot of the time,because you become what you allow people to treat you as.
Like so many others I am just about fed up waiting for answers. I woke up yesterday to a myspace message from a friend telling me she didn't have authorization to post and then had to reregister. Now I had noticed the forum url switch and the overall bugginess of the forums a few days prior but we weren't told anything. Then I get this weird email from Meredith Leyva saying she and OH had split and she hoped that I and the other mods would moderate her site and then had another email granting me moderator priviledges for Cinchouse.com. So finally I go to my favorites and click and get a page that tells me to choose which site I want to visit. It was only then I discovered the fiasco that had been going on for quite some time since I am on Alaska standard time. I then decided to figure out how to log on to Cinchouse and see what was going on. As of right now I haven't made a definite decision about where I will be moderating, although I am leaning toward a specific side. As it is only a volunteer job I have to decide where my loyalty lies which is very hard to do. I really want more information about why the two split. There has been a lot of shadiness between the two and there have always been questions that have gone unanswered. Be as it may a volunteer position, I put in a lot of my time and list it on my resume. I don't want to be associated with something or someone that is being brought into a negative light because it will also make me look bad when I have had nothing to do with what is going on. Unlike others, I don't have the luxury of being able to be a member of both sites. If I choose to stay at OHO I will be banned from Cinchouse so far as I can tell. I am not sure if the same would be true at OHO. I don't like being caught in the middle and I don't like being misled or lied to. I think both parties are responsible for this mess and have some real explaining to do.
So I bartered with one of my friends this past weekend, a nice blanket for her son in return for a massage (that I should be getting this week, she is a licensed massage therapist.) It took three times as long to make because she was here standing over my shoulder the whole time. Of course she was playing with her baby and mine while talking to my mom and I and we had dinner too; but it was a bit nervewracking making it while she was here. In fact I sliced my finger open cutting the fabric. The soft-n-comfy fabric is a real pain to work with, like minkee, because it stretches and moves all over the place. Even using a 90 stretch needle it was a pain in the butt. Everytime I would get to the middle when sewing the satin blanket binding the fabric would start to move making the hem uneven and not straight. Regardless, it turned out really nice and she was happy with it. I am making B.Lee one with a black satin binding. Here is the one I made for her:
So my online friend Carol has a blog that I forgot about until now and after reading it I decided to make my own again. I figure that since I now have a son and a business named after him making baby items I should probably keep track of my life in case he steals anymore of my brain cells. More to come later, hi CinC ladies!
I am an Army Wife and veteran and now a WAHM to little B.Lee who I call Cootie Pants. I started my own business making baby boutique items and spend my days sewing, teaching and playing with my son and chasing two crazy pugs around. My life is a bit crazy, but I love it.